I'm the bad guy...

So, today was such an interesting day.   I guess it all started out yesterday.  Last night I went to a bbq with a few of my friends and that one girl was there.  The one that I have always been talking about.  And I honestly couldn't get my mind off of her.  So I went over to her house and well, we watched a movie and well, kissed.  Which was just the start of how I became the bad guy today.  While this was happening her parents come in and she gets super embarrassed.  So we go and walk and talk.  And we came to the conclusion, well, I feel as though I came to the conclusion, that we needed to end this relationship.  And she agreed.  And so I break a girl's heart and I feel horrible, but I also feel like it needed to be done.  My mind and my heart are arguing so much right now.  Then I go to another bbq and a girl there has been talking to me and we watched a movie a couple o days ago, and I mean she invited me over to her place and she is like 5 years older then I am.  So her inviting me over was a little weird, but I was like whatever.  So, I go and we watch a movie and talk.  Well I have found out that anything that I say is very offensive.   So we were talking today, and she wanted to hang out again.  And she said that I should give her a massage.  Well I voiced my opinion that that is really kinda weird, so she canceled our "hang out", and hasn't responded to me since.  So I became a bad guy twice today.  So over all I wish with all my heart that I was back on my mission.  I didn't have to worry about drama like this.  So does that make me a horrible person?  I kinda think it does.  Yea, so I am just going to stop talking in general.  If I say nothing, could I offend someone that way too?  I want to get out of here.  Or just change everything that I want, and get a job, a car, a phone, and a girl.  But nope.  I start work tomorrow, don't have a phone yet, nor a car and I pretty much ruined my chances at a girl.  Wow, can you say pathetic?  Yea... Well, hopefully things pick up...