Revisiting the lonely...

So I was thinking...

I have had a lot of time to do that lately cause this week I have almost 10 hours of work at my job.  Sucks!!!  But I was thinking about my last post.  It actually might just be me.  I honestly think I don't do well in groups.  I love one on one time with people.  Probably why I have been on more dates since being back home then before my mission.  Stupid groups.  I don't know what it is about groups that make me feel uncomfortable and awkward.  Maybe it is because I am such a people pleaser.  I don't know how to make everyone feel good.  So I just slink away.  Or it might be because I feel like people actually pay attention to me when there aren't distractions all around.  In case you haven't figured out, my self-esteem isn't the greatest.  I enjoy when people take time to get to know me and want to hang out with me.  It makes me feel special. 

I have spent my whole life trying to make most everyone feel special, just like how I want to be treated.  But I guess, not everyone is me.  My question is... Where is that someone that will make me feel special?  You know what I mean?  I mean, someone that will talk to me without me having to start a conversation, that doesn't care if I vent, one who wants to make me happy.  Well, I am guessing that I am going to have to wait for that girl.  Yea, I just kind of sounded "un" manly right there didn't I?  Well, deep down inside I am quite the romantic, that doesn't mind watching chick flicks (exception is when I am watching with a girl and she is drooling over the main guy). 

Which kind of puts me on my next tangent.  Why can girls post guys half naked that are ripped and good looking and it is alright, while if a guy posts pictures of girls like that, they become perverts.  Just a thought, if you want it or not.