So I have been thinking a lot. The friendship that I just screwed up just became super awkward now. Total miscommunication. She thinks that I became super defensive about her opinion. When I really didn't. I posted a question on this blog and it was more of a thought provoking question or a rhetorical question. She decided to tell me her side of the answer and all I said was,"I am going to politely disagree. thank you for your opinion." And then I got a faceful of I am an "asshole". If I take a step back, this would have to be something that has built up over time. I couldn't see how something like that could come across so rude and inconsiderate. So I must have been doing things before then, or even I became the person she decided to dump everything on. Both are a possibility.
Well, before this all happened, I have been thinking that I am going to start thinking about number one. I haven't done that is such a long time. I have always put other people in front of me. And many times it has bit me in the butt. There is a quote I found,"Sometimes the person who tries to keep everyone happy is the most lonely person." Well that is EXACTLY how I am feeling. So I am going to do things that I have been wanting to do. Though some of those things would be better with friends. Right now, I really don't have any. Screw me over. I hate pity parties. And it seems as though this whole blog as been that. Well, oh well. It is now, seeming to me, the only way to vent for me. I just don't want to be lonely anymore. No girl, hardly a job, barely any friends (if any), and nothing to do. Well, I guess I just have to go though hell to understand and appreciate heaven. I am crossing my fingers that things will be looking up here soon.
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