Thursday, October 4, 2012

I just gotta start...

So I have been thinking a lot.  The friendship that I just screwed up just became super awkward now.  Total miscommunication.  She thinks that I became super defensive about her opinion.  When I really didn't.  I posted a question on this blog and it was more of a thought provoking question or a rhetorical question.  She decided to tell me her side of the answer and all I said was,"I am going to politely disagree. thank you for your opinion."  And then I got a faceful of I am an "asshole".  If I take a step back, this would have to be something that has built up over time.  I couldn't see how something like that could come across so rude and inconsiderate.  So I must have been doing things before then, or even I became the person she decided to dump everything on.  Both are a possibility. 

Well, before this all happened, I have been thinking that I am going to start thinking about number one.  I haven't done that is such a long time.  I have always put other people in front of me.  And many times it has bit me in the butt.  There is a quote I found,"Sometimes the person who tries to keep everyone happy is the most lonely person."  Well that is EXACTLY how I am feeling.  So I am going to do things that I have been wanting to do.  Though some of those things would be better with friends.  Right now, I really don't have any.  Screw me over.  I hate pity parties.  And it seems as though this whole blog as been that.  Well, oh well.  It is now, seeming to me, the only way to vent for me.  I just don't want to be lonely anymore.  No girl, hardly a job, barely any friends (if any), and nothing to do.  Well, I guess I just have to go though hell to understand and appreciate heaven.  I am crossing my fingers that things will be looking up here soon. 

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