This is finals week. So you would think that I would be studying pretty hard this week. Well, I really don't have a whole lot to study for. So I have been sitting on my butt on my computer for the last couple of days. And ever since the plays have finished and I don't see Alex anymore, I feel as though I really don't have any friends up here. That just really blows if you ask me. Like I have "friends", but I just feel like I am not really wanted. I guess I will take that back. There is this one girl who seems like she likes me. And she is super cool and pretty cute, but I just couldn't see me dating her. And I can't see me dating her because well, she is basically me in a girl's body. I don't know if I could ever date me. We are both super opinionated so we don't see eye to eye on a few things. But she just keeps on talking to me. I don't know what to do. Should I be totally honest with her? Well the answer is yes, yes I should be. But if I tell her that I am not interested, and she wasn't interested from the start, then that just makes me look like a total fool. I really don't understand most girls. It kind of bothers me too, because I love to understand. For me understanding is power. Not that I am power hungry, but it is those people that can understand things that can really go forward in life.
And of course it just doesn't end there. There is this girl. And I just can't keep my mind off of her. But the thing is, is that I have only started liking her since I have been home. And she has shut me down pretty bad. So why can't I just let go and move on? I don't know. I don't know how to describe her either. I just really like her. Though I don't know if the feelings are mutual. They probably are not. But all at the same time I want to fight for her. I want to try. OK. It is settled then, I am going for it. I will just have to wait 18 months. I'll write her though. As often as time will allow.
Side note. I am going to pass all of my classes except for one. My stupid education class. I have to take it because I am majoring in Education, but I really am not enjoying the teacher. He is one of the most hypocritical teachers I have ever taken. So I have signed up for it next semester with a different teacher. This new teacher has high marks on ratemyprofessor.com. So I am actually kind of excited to take it again. I have made it into a play next semester as well. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead. One of my all time favorite plays. I am so excited to act in it. Though I didn't get the role I wanted, I am just glad that I got in at all. I haven't acted in about four years. So I am excited to get back into the swing of things again.
So over all, my life isn't too bad. I have a loving family, a loving Heavenly Father and Savior, and a girl that I will be writing for the next 18 months. Let's do this. I will stay positive. For I have been blessed.
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